Monday, July 23, 2007

Dotson Salutes - The Astrological Sign Leo & Michael Moore

It's July 23. That mean's we're TOTALLY in Leo!!!



And how about those Leos, huh??? I mean, are they rad or what???

They are easily the greatest astrological sign ever invented. EASILY!

Leos can do no wrong. They are the smartest, most attractive people on this planet. Every thought in their head is the greatest idea ever conceived by anyone anywhere. In a perfect world we would all be Leos, ALL of us.

(Leos like it when you talk about them like this. I'll keep going...)



Sadly for me, I was born under the astrological sign of Sagittarius which means I don't like being indoors if I can avoid it, but if I keep practicing my Buddhism and keep giving nickels to every homeless person I meet, then maybe in the next life, I will be born as a Leo and can enjoy the fruits of what it is to be one of the signs better than all over everything for eternity!!!!

Anyway, the reason I'm saluting Leos is because I saw this movie today called "Stucco". The title of the movie is completely misleading because I thought it was a movie about exterior coatings on residential buildings.



And I was looking forward to it because I haven't seen a movie about exterior coatings on residential buildings in years.

IN YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Dammit if I wasn't pissed to all hell when I found out the movie was actually about health care in America.

I tried to get my money back from the cashier but he didn't speak English. Then he tried to sell me a watch. What a jerk.

So the movie was made by this retired actor named Michael Moore.

Michael Moore looks like this---



Before he made documentaries about boring things like health care, Michael Moore was James Bond. In the James Bond movies, there was always an incomprehensible plot about some villain threatening to blow something up and/or stealing a large diamond and James Bond for whatever reason was the only person who could go after the villain. Apparently in the James Bond world there is no such thing as a police department.

I guess Michael Moore eventually found the James Bond movies to be tiresome and decided to make his own movies.

I went to his last movie which was about 9/11 and it was damn emotional. I remember being on the verge of tears through most of it.

This time around with his stucco movie, it was more of the same. Very moving. There were people sniffling all around me. There was one woman in the row ahead of me who spent half the movie doubled over in tears.

The Dotman himself could have cried on at least six different occasions, but his icy Capricorn Rising energy kicked in in the nick of time to prevent him from becoming a blubbery tub of emotional puss.

But check it out---

This movie was way Leo!

Let me explain---

Michael Moore makes movies about people who are shut out of the "American Dream" (if in fact that dream still exists at all) and gives them a voice that they normally wouldn't have.

That's important!

And that's Leo energy! Leo's say, "Hey, world. I'm here and I'm going to be heard!"

Because when you get down to it, there isn't really too much to life. You're born, some stuff happens, and then you die. It's really a pretty dark situation, isn't it?

But Leos won't hear anything about that. Leos are going to dance, they're going to paint, they're going to sing and they're not going to be SILENCED no matter what.

Now of course, that kind of energy can sometimes be annoying, but at the same time, Leos take pride in being alive. They say "Yo, it's perfectly acceptable to love myself and to be an individual. I'm here on this planet for a reason and I ain't lettin' nobody jerk me around, least of all some punk-ass insurance company!"

All of us can benefit from that Leo energy to keep us going from time to time.

All of us.

Even people who seemingly have everything---

Like Agent Cody Banks.




ON THIS GREAT DAY, JULY 23, 2007, DOTSON SALUTES THE ASTROLOGICAL SIGN LEO FOR BEING EASILY THE GREATEST ASTROLOGICAL SIGN EVER INVENTED, FOR BEING THE ONE SIGN THAT IS ALWAYS RIGHT AND CAN NEVER DO WRONG, FOR GIVING PEOPLE THE STRENGTH AND COURAGE TO STAND UP TO ASSHOLES FROM ALL WALKS OF LIFE, AND FOR SEEING SO MUCH MORE IN LIFE THAN IS ON THE SURFACE.

DOTSON ALSO SALUTES MICHAEL MOORE FOR WALKING AWAY FROM THOSE SILLY JAMES BOND MOVIES AND MAKING HIS OWN MOVIES, FOR MAKING A LEO-ESQUE MOVIE ABOUT PEOPLE GETTING JERKED AROUND BY U.S. HEALTH CARE THAT ALSO MADE MOST OF US IN THE MOVIE THEATER CRY, OR AT LEAST BROUGHT US TO THE VERGE OF TEARS, AND FOR HOPEFULLY MAKING A MOVIE NEXT TIME ABOUT STUCCO, OR AT THE VERY LEAST GIVING HIS FUTURE MOVIES LESS MISLEADING TITLES.



Have you heard this one????


Q: "What's the greatest punishment you can give a Leo?"

A: "Take away their MySpace Page."


OH!!!!!!


Before I split, let me leave you with the soothing sounds of maybe the greatest embodiment of a Leo ever to be personified in human form by an individual in the flesh- male or female.

Rick Jagger of "The Roaving Stones"


Jumpin Jack Flash






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Chris Dotson

1 comment:

James said...

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