I went to this awesome store today called Kmart!
Kmart is kind of like a Target, but people who shop at Kmart are more likely to smoke cigarettes and/or eat fruit without first washing it.
The reason I went to Kmart is because I needed a new phone. Technically my current phone is just fine, but it's a cordless, and the frequency it runs on is similar to the one my airport uses, so sometimes when I'm on my cordless phone, I get a loud buzzing sound. I've tried adjusting the frequencies many times, but nothing ever worked. So I decided to resolve the problem by just getting a phone WITH a cord!
The phone looks like this---
And you know how much it was??
They're practically giving the damn things away! And I had my choice of colors between black, white, and tan!
When I got home and opened up the phone, I flipped it over and I saw that the phone I bought is the "Number One Best Selling Phone of All Time"!
That means I'm a part of history!
If it wasn't for all of us Kmart shoppers buying up all these $9.99 phones over the years, the At & T Trimline® Telephone might only be the "Number Two Best Selling Phone of All Time" or "The Number One Second Best Selling Phone of All Time!"
But thanks to us, this phone is number one on the charts, number one in our hearts, and most importantly...
NUMBER ONE IN MY PANTS!!!
And that's where the phone is right now. It's in my pants.
Best $9.99 I ever spent!
ON THIS GREAT DAY, DOTSON SALUTES THE NUMBER ONE BEST SELLING PHONE OF ALL TIME FOR SELLING MORE THAN THE NUMBER TWO BEST SELLING PHONE OF ALL TIME, FOR NOT HAVING WEIRD STATIC BECAUSE OF MY AIRPORT, FOR COMING IN THREE DIFFERENT COLORS, AND FOR FITTING SO PERFECTLY INTO MY PANTS.
Tomorrow (or very late tonight) I will be posting the latest "David Lynch Problem Solver" video. It's already the 3rd one!
And tomorrow on YouTube, The Dotman is going to unveil his Vince Vaughn impersonation. The Dotman's been talking about this one for weeks now. Hopefully it will suck a little less than the majority of his jokes. But it will still most likely suck considerably.
Dotman's Lame-Ass Joke O' the Mother-effin' Day
- ► 2008 (187)