Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Dotson Salutes - The Movie "Bully" and Blogger.com

Last night I watched a movie called "Bully."




This was not your conventional kind of movie. For one thing, it took many risks by presupposing the following--

1. Filmgoers are interested in watching young people have sex.
2. Filmgoers are interested in violence.


Sex and violence in a film? REALLY? Could it work?

The answer is "yes." It worked like a dream.

First, let's look at the sex. (Actually, let's ONLY look at the sex.) There was more sex had in this movie than I will have in three lifetimes.



There was even one scene where Bijou Phillips was having sex on top of a guy and she picks up her phone and carries on a casual conversation with a friend while she's riding this dude. To me, that was the most interesting scene in the movie, mainly because I am impressed with anyone who can multitask like that. If I was having sex, I can tell you right now there is NO WAY I'd be able to maintain intercourse and talk on the phone at the same time. It would be like me trying to rub my stomach and pat my head simultaneously. It's just not going to happen. Granted, Phillips was having "movie sex" (at least I THINK she was) and therefore didn't have to maintain actual intercourse while having a phone conversation. But still, she was amazing in the scene and I think they should absolutely have awards for things like that, like "Best Actress In A Scene Where She Was Required To Talk On The Phone And Have Sex At The Same Time."

I'm telling you, I am going to create my own awards show and hand out awards for that very thing. I don't care if nobody comes to the show or if no actors show up to accept their trophies. I will have the awards show regardless and I will eat bread and jam and I will craft my own marmalade and put it in jars and hand it out to people on the street who so desperately need marmalade and they will grow into incredible ferns and they will scale the walls of eternity until creation has no more and there, and only there will the birds reveal themselves as the true masters of infinity and beyond.

Thank you, Buzz Lightyear.



Anyway, I watched "Bully" right before I went to bed, and let me warn you that if you watch "Bully" right before you go to bed, you will dream about two of your cousins having sex.

And that's what happened! I dreamt that two of my male cousins were having sex. (Not with each other!) There were actually 6 people on the bed in my dream. 3 guys and 3 chicks. My two cousins were going at it with two unidentifiable chicks. There was another couple on the bed having sex, but I couldn't see their faces.

And It wasn't like I was standing there WATCHING my cousins have sex. In the dream I was playing a video game and I was really into the video game and didn't even REALIZE that all this sex was being had on the bed behind me. When I finally did see the sex, I immediately excused myself from the room.

So that's what happened there.


In other news, I've decided that I am unceremoniously retiring from MySpace. This is the final blog that will be posted on MySpace. I know all three of you readers will be devastated.

The good news is that I will continue to blog like a demon, but I will be posting the blog at www.dotsonsalutes.blogspot.com

So read it there instead.

And don't try to contact me through MySpace anymore, because I'm not logging on to even read messages. But I don't know, maybe you enjoy sending messages that don't get read. In that case, message away!

Why this abrupt change?

Because we're in Aquarius and Aquarius is ruled by the planet Uranus which is known for causing abrupt changes.

That's why.

Anyway, I've had fun on MySpace over the years, but it's time for The Dot to ride off into the sunset.

Adios, amigos!!




ON THIS GREAT DAY, JANUARY 29, 2008, THE DAY WHEN DOTSON RETIRES FROM MYSPACE FOREVER, DOTSON SALUTES THE MOVIE "BULLY" FOR SOMEHOW FINDING AN AUDIENCE DESPITE THE FACT THAT IT CONTAINS MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF SEX AND EVEN VIOLENCE, AND FOR CAUSING DOTSON TO HAVE EROTIC DREAMS ABOUT TWO OF HIS MALE COUSINS. DOTSON ALSO SALUTES BLOGGER.COM FOR BEING A PLACE WHERE DOTMAN CAN BLOG WITHOUT HAVING TO LOG INTO MYSPACE AND GETTING INUNDATED WITH ADS FEATURING SLUTTY GIRLS (NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT!) AND ALSO BECAUSE DOTSON IS SO "MYSPACE-D OUT" HE CAN'T EVEN TELL YOU.


Kudos? You want KUDOS??

I got your kudos right fuckin' here---




R.I.P. Dotson's Myspace Account: 2004-2008



Chris Dotson

Dotman's Jokes

http://dotsonsalutes.blogspot.com/

1 comment:

Andre said...

I'm devastated.

Teardrops Dotson teardrops.

Let's all pour out a little 40 juice for your old homey the myspace!

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