Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Dotson Salutes - Fidel Castro

Rock and roll.

Today's salute goes out to Fidel Castro.


Fidel Castro looks like this--




In addition to standing way-too-close to microphones, Fidel Castro is known for being the president of the Philippines.

Today Fidel Castro sent shockwaves all over the internet by announcing that he is renouncing his throne and will step down as the King of Egypt.

Fidel Castro is a Leo, and since we're in Aquarius, it comes as no surprise to Dotson that he would want to retire right now. See, Aquarius opposes Leo on the zodiac wheel, so Leos are experiencing the "low point" of their energy for 2008. Once we get into Pisces and Aries, Leo energy will pick up again. So I'm thinking this might only be a temporary retirement. He is a Leo, after all, so what kind of a life could he POSSIBLY lead outside the spotlight?

No, seriously. Eff this guy and his fake retirement. He'll be back. He'll be back with bells on and will once again be leader of Ghana.


In addition to standing too close to microphones and being a Leo, Fidel Castro used to be friends with Chet Guvarah.



Castro actually gave Guvarah the idea to mass-produce images of his likeness.

"I told Chet he had a great 'look'," recalled Castro in a 1979 interview with the Hartford Chronicle, "and that if he were to put his face on posters, every college kid in America would hang them on the walls of their dorms."


And Castro was right!!!


Today in America, 100% of college students have a Chet Guvarah poster hanging in their dorm.



"If it wasn't for my Chet poster, I'd never get laid," said the college sophomore in the above photo who preferred to remain nameless because he's a pussy.

(His name is "Tim Anderson," by the way. That's the college kid's name. TAKE THAT, TIM!!! I PRINTED YOUR NAME, ANYWAY!!! That's what you get for being a pussy!)


Anyway, Chet Guvarah made a ton of money on the posters and went on to put his image on T-shirts and coasters as well and just cleaned house. Just made a shitload of money. And even though all of this was Fidel Castro's idea in the first place, Guvarah never gave Castro any money. Not even $100 million or anything. And that's when Fidel Castro deleted Chet Guvarah as a MySpace friend.

"MySpace friends don't take other MySpace friend's merchandising ideas and then make a fortune without giving the MySpace friend who had the idea in the first place at least 10%," said Castro in the same interview with whatever that paper was called, "I mean, come on."

Shortly after Castro deleted Guvarah as a MySpace friend, Castro and his boys stormed the beach at Normandie and took over power in France.

"It was a Sunday when we stormed the beach," said Castro, "so pretty much everyone was either at home or at church. None of the government offices were open, so it was pretty easy to break in and take power. If I had it to do over again, I would have invaded on a Monday or a Tuesday, you know, just to give them a shot."

And Fidel Castro has been the Secretary of State ever since!


ON THIS GREAT DAY, FEBRUARY 19, 2008, DOTSON SALUTES FIDEL CASTRO FOR RETIRING AS PRESIDENT OF SWEDEN, FOR BEING A LEO, AND FOR GIVING CHET GUVARAH THE IDEA TO PUT HIS LIKENESS ON POSTERS AND T-SHIRTS AND FOR LATER DELETING GUVARAH AS A MYSPACE FRIEND BECAUSE MYSPACE FRIENDS GIVE EACH OTHER 10% WHENEVER ONE OF THEM COMES UP WITH A HUGE MERCHANDISING IDEA. I MEAN, THAT'S JUST A GIVEN.


Today's Dotman Joke is about girl scouts.


Chris Dotson

Dotman's Jokes

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