I got banned from YouTube today.
I'm not sure whether I should feel angry or whether I should feel honored.
I'm perplexed. Absolutely perplexed.
Here's how I found out I got banned---
This morning when I checked my email, a flood of emails from YouTube came flowing into my Bulk Mailbox. I thought to myself, "This is awesome! The Dotman Jokes of the Day are finally getting the recognition they deserve!"
I figured all these emails were user comments and people subscribing to the Dotman's videos.
(Click on the photo to make it bigger so you can read it!)
Then I took a closer look and saw the subject of the emails was this--
"VIDEO REMOVED: INAPPROPRIATE CONTENT"
I mean, yeah, of course the jokes are inappropriate! That's the whole point of the Dotman. He's there to provoke. If he's not pissing people off, he's not doing his job!
But to go ahead and just up and remove the videos? That seemed a bit extreme.
I counted the number of "video removed" messages, and it totaled 25. Man, The Dotman was receiving some serious censorship, here!
The only good news I could think of was that at least The Dotman had 125 jokes that HAD NOT been removed, so that was something!
I then went to log into the Dotman's account to enjoy the 125 remaining jokes, and that's when I discovered that not only had 25 videos been removed, but YouTube decided to go ahead and delete the Dotman's entire account!
Bye, bye, Dotman. Sayonara, sucka! You have been erased from YouTube history.
In other words, YouTube committed "Dotman Joke of the Day" Genocide.
But at least I still had my OTHER YouTube account! You know, the account with the videos that people actually liked! Like the David Lynch and Ralph Macchio videos. People love those videos and there's absolutely NOTHING inappropriate about those videos!
So I tried logging into that account and found out that account had ALSO been deleted.
Now that was just mean, YouTube.
Alright, so some dickhead user must have been griping about the Jokes of the Day. Fine. I can live with that. But to lump in the David Lynch and Ralph Macchio videos and punish an ENTIRELY SEPARATE YouTube account, well, that's just uncalled for, dude.
It's uncalled for.
What really gets me about this whole thing, though, (Well, technically there's about 1,000 things that REALLY get me about this whole thing,) is just two weeks ago I got an email from the comedy editor at YouTube telling me that he might want to feature the Dotman's Joke of the Day. He never did get back to me after that email, but to think The Dotman was *this close* to being spotlighted on YouTube and now only two weeks later to find out the Dotman had been eradicated from the Tube entirely? It's weird.
I don't understand YouTube's policy in regards to a cancellation of an account. Who was lodging these complaints against The Dotman? Was it just one person? Did one person "flag" 25 of The Dotman's videos so automatically the account gets deleted? Do I get a chance to defend myself or does one faceless moron get the final say? I don't get it. What a kick in the dick this is.
I don't feel obligated to defend the Dotman's jokes. There's nothing to defend. They're annoying and they're often tasteless, but that's the whole point. And just because one person or a few people can't take a joke is... well, this is an argument that's gone on throughout history so I digress.
And the greatest injustice in all of this is that the "dotson76" account with the David Lynch and Ralph Macchio videos also got deleted. That account featured ZERO Dotman jokes on it and received ZERO complaints and yet it was deleted as well.
But what can ya do? There's far greater tragedies in this world than whether or not some weirdo Sagittarius dude with big hair and glasses who doesn't have to work for a living can express himself via a silly website.
Who gives a rat's? There are 8 trillion other websites out there where I can post my videos and hopefully not get banned. One of those websites is SuperDeluxe.com and today I posted several Dotman Jokes there and it might be the semi-permanent home for The Dotman until I can find another place. Maybe I'll just buy The Dotman his own website.
I sent a polite email to the comedy editor at YouTube asking for an explanation for the deletion of the two accounts. I haven't received a response yet, and honestly, I don't expect one.
Anyway, so that was my experience getting banned from YouTube. I'm angry about it, sure. But mostly, I just feel sad. It honestly hurt my feelings. A lot.
But seeing how I am not one to write sad blogs, I refuse to end this blog on a down note.
So I will now post The Dotman's Joke of the Day and I will plan on posting the Dotman's Joke of the Day on my blog for the rest of eternity because the website may change, but The Dotman remains.
(Huh???!! Did you just watch the video? NO WONDER THE DOTMAN GOT BANNED! STICK A FORK IN THAT UNFUNNY FUCKER, PRONTO!!! LONG LIVE YOUTUBE AND THE SUPPRESSION OF FREE SPEECH!!)
ON THIS INCREDIBLY WEIRD, BULLSHIT EXCUSE FOR A DAY, FEBRUARY 28, 2008, DOTSON SALUTES GETTING BANNED FROM YOUTUBE BECAUSE YOU GET TO CHECK YOUR EMAIL AND GET A BUNCH OF EMAILS FROM YOUTUBE MAKING YOU THINK YOUR VIDEOS ARE A HUGE HIT, ONLY TO DISCOVER THAT THE EMAILS ARE TELLING YOU YOUR VIDEOS HAVE BEEN REMOVED BECAUSE THEY'RE INAPPROPRIATE, BUT THEN YOU FIND THAT YOUR APPROPRIATE VIDEOS ALSO GOT REMOVED BECAUSE APPARENTLY THAT'S JUST HOW IT GOES, AND THEN YOU WATCH A DOTMAN JOKE AGAIN AND YOU REALIZE THAT THE DOTMAN TRULY IS NOT ANYWHERE CLOSE TO BEING FUNNY AND HE'S A TOTAL IDIOT AND THEN YOU SALUTE YOUTUBE FOR GETTING RID OF THE DOTMAN BECAUSE YOUTUBE IS THE GREATEST THING TO HAPPEN TO THE INTERNET AND IT'S PERFECTLY FINE TO POST VIDEOS OF 14 YEAR-OLD GIRLS TAKING THEIR CLOTHES OFF ON YOUTUBE BECAUSE THOSE VIDEOS WON'T GET BANNED.
Fuck February 28, 2008. Fuck this day. I hate you, February 28, 2008.
And no cough syrup for you!!!
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- ▼ February (29)