Saturday, February 16, 2008

Dotson Salutes - Going for a walk with two dudes and getting lost.

I am so on vacation.

It's me and like 8 other people and we're staying at this condo/ski lodge kind of thing. I don't know what you call it. Basically it looks like this --



Last night we played a game called Apples to Apples and had the times of our lives.

This morning I was the first one up! That's what happens when you're the only person out of 9 people who doesn't drink alcohol or smoke cigarettes. You're the first one up.

But being the first one up has some responsibilities, including going around the living room and picking up any leftover plastic cups from the night before and putting all the dirty dishes in the dishwasher and starting it up so that there will be clean dishes ready when everyone else gets up and wants to make you breakfast.

But sometimes before breakfast gets made, two dudes in your group ask you if you want to join them for a "short walk" in the neighborhood where you're staying. So you're like "Yeah," and then you go for a walk and it's really awesome but the roads are really windy (WINE-DY, not "windy") and then all of a sudden you don't know where you are and the two dudes you are with give you shit because you're the sober guy so you should have been paying attention but you thought they were paying attention.

Then you try calling the other 6 people back at your condo/cabin to first of all find out what street your condo is on because you don't even know that much but everyone's phone is either turned off or they don't get cell phone reception so you leave everyone messages but nobody calls you back.

Fortunately, one of the guys you're lost with is a Leo, so he goes up to a guy who is shoveling his walk and asks him if he has a map and/or if he'd mind driving us around looking for our place.

And this guy is totally nice and he has a green Mercedes and you get in there with the two guys you're on your walk with and the interior of this guy's Mercedes is IMMACULATE and you look down on the floor and realize that your shoes are all dirty and snowy and they're making his gray floor mats wicked dirty and you feel bad because this guy is totally helping you out and you're getting his super nice car dirty and you feel terrible and think about offering him some cash to pay for it, but then you get distracted because the guy starts talking about how he lives in Hollywood and YOU also live in Hollywood, so all of a sudden there's this really strong connection you're establishing and he tells you he bought Jason Bateman's old house and that Jason Bateman "isn't a turd."




And next thing you know, you've found your condo! And you were only in the guy's car for about five minutes but you wonder to yourself if your chance encounter with this person had a deeper spiritual meaning that you can't comprehend at the moment but that might be a part of some "unfinished business" from a previous life.


And you also hope he's not too pissed off when he discovers how dirty you got his floor mat.


ON THIS GREAT DAY, FEBRUARY 16, 2008, DOTSON SALUTES GOING FOR A WALK WITH TWO DUDES AND GETTING LOST BECAUSE YOU GET TO WALK ON A LOT OF WINDY ROADS AND LOSE TRACK OF WHERE YOU ARE AND THEN YOU MEET A GUY SHOVELING HIS WALK WHO AGREES TO DRIVE YOU AROUND LOOKING FOR YOUR CABIN, EVEN THOUGH YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT STREET IT'S ON AND THIS GUY MIGHT BE A PSYCHO, BUT AT THE SAME TIME THERE'S THREE OF YOU AND ONLY ONE OF HIM SO HE'S THE GUY WHO'S TAKING THE BIGGER RISK, BUT IT'S COOL BECAUSE HE LIVES IN JASON BATEMAN'S OLD HOUSE AND YOU'RE ONLY IN HIS CAR FOR FIVE MINUTES AND YOU GET HIS FLOOR MAT DIRTY.


What a nice dude that guy was. I sure hope he doesn't burn in hell. That just wouldn't seem right to me.


Chris Dotson

Dotman's Jokes

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