Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Dotson Salutes - Michael Clayton

I went and saw an awesome documentary last night.

It was called "Michael Clayton."



I had trouble getting into the movie at first, because the entire film is slightly out of focus and has words printed over the people's faces. I guess that was an "artistic choice" by the director, but personally, I found it distracting.


Regardless, "Michael Clayton" was still compelling.

Michael Clayton looks like this--




And throughout the film, Michael Clayton (or "Mikey Claytes" as he referred to himself) would run around saying, "I'M MIKEY CLAYTES AND I'M NEVER LATE!!!"

Mikey Claytes was very proud of his punctuality, and if anyone in the movie threatened his ability to arrive at a given destination on time, he would get in their face and threaten to shove bottles of pills up their rear end.



There was another chick in the documentary who accused Mikey Claytes of being 30 seconds late to a meeting, and so he broke her legs!!!



OUCH!

But that's what you get for accusing Mikey Claytes of being late.


So anyway, for the first hour of the documentary Mikey Claytes was just running around and being on-time for pretty much everything and then all of a sudden a nemesis appeared!!!

His nemesis was named "Hime the Lime" and he looked like this--




And his nemesis would say, "I'M HIME THE LIME AND I'M ON TIME!"


And Mikey Claytes would say, "I'M MIKEY CLAYTES AND I'M NEVER LATE!"


And then for the next half hour, Mikey Claytes and Hime the Lime competed to see who could be "more on time" to their appointments and they kept tying and tying and tying and it looked like there was going to be no resolution in sight, and that's when Mikey Claytes ate Hime the Lime.

And then Mikey Claytes changed his motto from "I'M MIKEY CLAYTES AND I'M NEVER LATE!" to this--

"I'M MIKEY CLAYTES AND I THINK LIMES ARE GREAT!!"

(They totally set it up for a sequel documentary. Ugh. I can't stand it when they do that. But what can you do? I'll definitely see the sequel because who's to say how long Mikey Claytes will think limes are great. Maybe he'll go back to never being late. Who knows???? Who knows??????)

BO KNOWS!!




ON THIS GREAT DAY, FEBRUARY 12, 2008, DOTSON SALUTES MICHAEL CLAYTON (AKA "MIKEY CLAYTES") FOR MAKING THE DOCUMENTARY "MICHAEL CLAYTON" COMPELLING DESPITE THE FACT THE MOVIE WAS SLIGHTLY OUT OF FOCUS THE ENTIRE TIME AND HAD WORDS ON THE SCREEN AND FOR COINING THE PHRASE "MIKEY CLAYTES IS NEVER LATE" AND FOR THREATENING TO PUT MEDICINES UP PEOPLE'S BUTTS AND FOR BREAKING THE LEGS OF HOT CHICKS AND FOR EATING HIME THE LIME AND THEN HAVING THE COURAGE TO ADMIT TO THE WORLD THAT HE THINKS LIMES ARE GREAT.


I'm about to do my very first official astrological reading for this Aquarius singer I know.

Exciting!!!!!!



Chris Dotson

Dotman's Jokes

No comments: