Monday, March 31, 2008

Dotson Salutes - Cesar Chavez

I did a lot of walking today. A LOT. I'm not going to go into detail about where I walked or what I saw, but let's just say that I did more walking today than most men will do in their entire lives.

And one of the places I walked to was the pubic library.

If you live in Vancouver, the pubic library looks like this---


Nice!

AND if you live in Vancouver, you could actually go to the pubic library today and IT WOULD BE OPEN.

But I don't have the good fortune to live in Vancouver. I live in Los Angeles and if you try going to the library today, you can just FORGET ABOUT IT, because apparently it's Seezer Chavez's birthday and thanks to that fucker NONE OF US can go to the library today.

That's right! Try going to the library today in Los Angeles. I dare you. I double dare you, motherfucker! Go to the library!



It will be closed and it will be locked in honor of Cesar Chazez's goddamn birthday.

What a dick this guy is.

He even looks like a dick. Check it out---


Man, it is "Dick Central" up in this piece!

Yeah, okay, I just looked Cheveez up and apparently he freed the slaves and invented the pineapple and stuff, but when this guy was liberating the Turks and developing tropical fruit, do you think he stopped for ONE SECOND to consider the fact that on March 31, 2008, Chris Dotson might find himself living in Los Angeles and that Chris Dotson might want to go to the fucking library, but thanks to Seizure Chavez doing all his self-righteous crap, that maybe the library would be closed and Dotson wouldn't be able to go in there and pick up his Alan Greenspan book?

Do you think he thought about that for ONE second?

No. He didn't.

You'd think that having a salad named after him would have been enough--



But it wasn't. It wasn't enough that they named a salad after Cesar Chavedz. He had to get greedy. He had to make sure every library in Los Angeles would be closed on his birthday.

Well, Cheezus Sanchez, you got your wish!



And I hope you're happy, ASSHOLE.


ON THIS GREAT DAY, MARCH 31, 2008, DOTSON SALUTES CESAREAN CHAZEZ FOR BEING A BLUE-RIBBON ASSHOLE AND DOING A BUNCH OF SELF-RIGHTEOUS SHIT THAT APPARENTLY BENEFITED A LOT OF PEOPLE, BUT DIDN'T BENEFIT CHRIS DOTSON ONE BIT AND IN FACT, THANKS TO THIS PRICK, DOTSON COULDN'T PICK UP HIS ALAN GREENSPAM BOOK AT THE LIBRARY AND DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW LONG DOTSON HAS BEEN WAITING TO PICK UP THIS BOOK? ME, EITHER! BUT IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME! MAYBE EVEN A MONTH! MAYBE EVEN A MONTH AND TEN HOURS!

All I know is that tomorrow it's April 1, which is Lon Chaney's birthday, and if the library is closed AGAIN tomorrow for Lon Chaney's fucking ass, I'm going to be a mushroom-cloud-laying-motherfucker, motherfucker!



(Two "Pulp Fiction" quotes. ONE blog. And THAT is why I won't do two shows in one night anymore. I won't. I won't do it.)



Oh, yeah. The Dotman talks about drunk driving in today's entry. Apparently it's illegal or something.



(And I apologize for all the profanity in today's blog, but we are in Aries.)

Chris Dotson

Dotman's Joke of the Day

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