Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Dotson Salutes - Not yelling at old people.

Dude. I feel rotten. I almost made it through another night of poker at the retirement home without letting any of the seniors make me angry. But at the very end of the night, when we were done playing cards and I was handing out the poker prizes, there was this one lady named Ruth who decided she should get TWO prizes (Normally, everybody gets one thing) because last week she didn't take ANY prizes. She didn't like any of last week's prizes and claims there was "nothing to take." I told her I wasn't thrilled with this "carryover prize" thing, but I'd let it go for this week only. So I put the prizes on the table and she quickly grabbed a lint roller, and then what happened is that Ruby wanted a box of kleenex for her prize but before Ruby could get it, Ruth snatched it up. Things get fuzzy after that. I remember thinking it was lousy of Ruth to grab the kleenex as well since Ruby mentioned she wanted them. Anyway, I just remember making a snide comment to Ruth and saying, "Yeah, it's a real tough life, kid."

Kid! I called her "kid!" She's 147 years old and I called her "kid!"

Actually, I call everybody "kid" these days. Ever since I turned thirty, I think I'm Humford Bogart or something.



So anyway, I left "senior poker night" feeling pretty rotten. It's hard to imagine that just this afternoon I was hanging out with my Scorpio filmmaker friend and his Capricorn wife and their new 4-year-old dog that they adopted from the pound. (I forgot to ask what sign the dog was.)

And now my Scorpio friend and his Capricorn wife are probably playing with their new 4-year-old dog and I'm sitting home alone blogging about how I called a senior citizen a "kid."


Life's funny, huh?


Things aren't all that bad, though. For example, just this afternoon I ran into my Scorpio comedian friend who I hadn't seen in probably 2.4 years. And guess who he was hanging out with????



Sarah Silver Bells!

Straight up! He was totally hanging out with her and like three other people who I didn't immediately recognize. (And no, Mike Damon was not with them.)

So I talked to my long-lost comedian buddy for a bit and pretended that I was completely oblivious to the fact that Sarah Silver Bells was like right there. Because when it comes to pretending to ignore Sagittarian comediennes, I am THE MAN!!


ALSO!!

Guess who I saw in the park yesterday afternoon?

This guy---



Remember him???

Me, too!!!

So I guess I don't feel so bad about snapping at Ruth because think about all the awesome celebrities I saw recently!!!!!

ON THIS GREAT DAY, MARCH 5, 2008, DOTSON SALUTES NOT YELLING AT OLD PEOPLE BECAUSE EVEN IF THEY KIND OF HAVE IT COMING YOU SHOULDN'T CALL THEM "KID" BECAUSE THEY'RE YOUR ELDERS AND YOU HAVE TO RESPECT THEM EVEN IF THEY'RE KIND OF PISSING YOU OFF AND ARE TOTALLY NEGATIVE ALL THE TIME AND COME TO POKER EVERY WEEK AND COMPLAIN A LOT, YOU STILL HAVE TO LET SOME THINGS GO AND NOT BE SO QUICK WITH YOUR TEMPER EVEN IF YOU ARE A LITTLE IRISH, BUT THE BOTTOM LINE IS THAT IF YOU SEE TWO CELEBRITIES IN AS MANY DAYS, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO CARE THAT YOU SNAPPED AT THE SENIOR BECAUSE YOU SAW TWO CELEBRITIES AND IT WAS AWESOME!!!

My Scorpio filmmaker friend's dog's name is "Boss." And I kept calling him "Boss-ome" because it sounds like "awesome."

Speaking of dogs, here's the latest from "The Man They Call Dot."




Chris Dotson

Dotman's Joke of the Day

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