Monday, March 24, 2008

Dotson Salutes - Selling your fingernail clippings on eTrade.

Totally forgot what I was going to blog about... Oh, yeah! I remember!

I'm blogging about fingernail clippings!

Here's what fingernail clippings look like---



And if you looked at the above picture and said to yourself, "HEY! Those aren't JUST fingernail clippings! There are also TOENAIL clippings in there," then you would be correct!

There are indeed 6 toenail clippings mixed in with the 10 fingernail clippings. (There are only 6 toenail clippings because I decided 3 of my toenails did not need to be clipped and then the other toenail clipping fell onto the bathroom floor and I looked REALLY FUCKING HARD for it, but I couldn't find it, so I ended up with 6.)

Dude!

I'm going to sell this bag of finger and toenail clippings on eTrade and see how much it will fetch!

And if someone sends me an email asking if they can "purchase" the bag, I will say to them, "NO. There is NO purchasing of these finger and toenails. BUT, you can FETCH them if you so choose."

Because that's what I do!! I don't SELL things. I see what they can FETCH.

There is a huge difference.

HUGE!

The reason I'm selling my toe and fingernail clippings on eTrade at this particular time is because as I mentioned in previous blogs, one of my David Lunch videos was recently featured on YouTubes and over 270,000 people watched and were undoubtedly confused by the video (Unless they were awesome viewers who know who David Lunch is. Then maybe they got a kick out of the videos! And maybe not!) and when people get confused by internet videos, they ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO buy the finger and toenail clippings of the person who made the video.

EVERY SINGLE TIME, WITHOUT FAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Especially this guy---



He's constantly getting confused by internet videos, and therefore he constantly finds himself buying toe and fingernail clippings.

I love this guy. And if he were to become an etcher, I would support him and tell him, "You can do it, Daniel. You are an incredible etcher. Don't listen to those people who tell you that you can't etch. You are an etching extraordinaire!"



Actually, I don't know if his name is "Daniel." But it should be.

That much I do know.


ON THIS GREAT DAY, MARCH 24, 2008, DOTSON SALUTES SELLING YOUR FINGERNAIL (AND TOENAIL) CLIPPINGS ON eTRADE BECAUSE IT'S FUN TO SEE WHAT THINGS WILL FETCH AND YOU HAVE TO STRIKE WHILE THE IRONING IS HOT BECAUSE FAME IS FLEETING AND JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE ON YOUTUBES ONE DAY, DOESN'T MEAN PEOPLE ARE GONNA REMEMBER YOU TWO DAYS FROM NOW, SO YOU NEED TO CASH IN A.S.A.P. AND GET WHATEVER YOU CAN FOR YOUR FINGER AND TOENAILS AND AMASS A FORTUNE AND BUY A SMALL ISLAND--- LIKE HAWAII, MAYBE.

OR EVEN MACEDONIA!!!




Chris Dotson

Dotman's Jokes

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