Check it out!!!
It's an autographed "Inland Empire" DVD!
See the autograph? It's the gold writing going up the middle of the DVD. That's the autograph! And it was of course autographed by David Lunch!
David Lunch looks like this---
My friend gave me this DVD because that's what friends do!! They give each other autographed "Inland Empire" DVDs.
And you need to ask yourself if YOUR friend has given YOU an autographed "Inland Empire" DVD lately, because if they haven't, then maybe they aren't really your friend.
THINK ABOUT IT!!!!
Want to know how my friend came into possession of an autographed "Inland Empire" DVD?
But here's how it went down--
My friend has ANOTHER friend and this OTHER friend was at a bookstore in Los Angeles. (Straight up. I'm crapping you negative.) And then this OTHER friend sees David Lunch in the bookstore and goes up to Lunch and asks him that if he were to buy something of his at the store (like a DVD or book or something,) if Lunch would autograph it.
Lunch said he would. So the other friend goes off and comes back with a book about Lunch and Lunch says, "Not that one." And then the other friend goes off again and this time comes back with an "Inland Empire" DVD and Lunch whips out a metallic gold pen and autographs the sucker right there on the spot!
THEN this other friend gets home and realizes he's not even a fan of David Lunch and so he gives the DVD to MY friend. My friend thanks him for it but then realizes HE'S not a particularly big fan of Lunch's work, either.
SO, what happened next is that since my friend is a GENIUS and knows that I'm a HUGE fan of Lunch, he decided to give the DVD to me.
And so he did.
And now I'm going to eat an almond.
ON THIS GREAT DAY, APRIL 19, 2008, DOTSON SALUTES AUTOGRAPHED "INLAND EMPIRE" DVDS BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT FRIENDS DO-- THEY GIVE EACH OTHER AUTOGRAPHED "INLAND EMPIRE" DVDS AND SOMETIMES THE DVD THAT'S GIVEN TO YOU WAS GIVEN TO YOUR FRIEND BY SOMEONE ELSE FIRST AND THAT FRIEND ISN'T EVEN THAT BIG OF A FAN OF LUNCH BUT FORTUNATELY THAT FRIEND HAS A VERY OUTGOING PERSONALITY AND WILL ASK PEOPLE FOR THEIR AUTOGRAPH JUST FOR THE SAKE OF GETTING THE AUTOGRAPH AND IT'S AWESOME BECAUSE THAT CHANCE MEETING ULTIMATELY BENEFITED YOU IN THE END AND IT MAKES YOU THINK THAT GOD IS AWESOME BUT YOU ONLY THINK GOD IS AWESOME WHEN SOMETHING BENEFITS YOU IN THE END, BECAUSE WHEN SOMETHING DOESN'T BENEFIT YOU IN THE END THEN YOU GET MAD AT GOD AND TRY TO MAKE HIM FEEL GUILTY BY WITHHOLDING SEX FROM HIM.
Since I didn't get a chance to post Dotman's Joke yesterday, I'll post it today instead. So here's your chance to watch the Dotman suck it up.
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