FedEx looks like this---
I got a FedEx yesterday. I came home from walking to find this tag hanging on the front door of my apartment building. I had to do a double take AND a triple take to make sure it was for me, because nobody EVER sends me FedExes.
That's because I'M NOT IMPORTANT!!! And only important people like Genghis Khan and Keanu Reeves get FedExes. (And sometimes they even get three in one day!!!!)
The tag said FedEx would re-deliver for me tomorrow OR I had the option of going to the FedEx station myself and picking the damn thing up.
So that's what I did!
I picked the damn thing up!
On my drive to the FedEx station it dawned on me that this might be some sick direct-mail promotion where all I was doing was driving to pick up some junk mail. I decided that if that was the case and it was like just some credit card offer or something like that that I would stop buying credit cards from that company and I would also stop attending that company's holiday parties in Jamaica.
And then I finally got to FedEx and the chick at the counter was all like, "Hi! Welcome to FedEx!"
And I was all like, "Shut up!"
And then she got me my package and as she brought it out to me, she said it looked like a package another guy picked up earlier in the day and that there was a mug inside.
And I was all like, "DUDE!! You totally ruined the surprise! Why did you tell me there was an effin' mug in here????"
She was right, though. There was a mug inside.
Mug looks like this---
It was a gift mug from the people from that new TV show I acted in last week. The name of the show is the same as the name on mug. It's called "Filthy Rich Girls" and it's going to be on the CW channel.
NOT LIMITED TO, HOWEVER!!!!!
In addition to mug, inside the package was a card that thanked me for my hard work on the show.
That's right. I work HARD!!!! And don't you forget it, Madonna Summers!!!
ON THIS GREAT DAY, APRIL 16, 2008, DOTSON SALUTES GIFT MUGS BECAUSE YOU GET A FEDEX FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YOUR LIFE AND FEEL LIKE YOU ARE AS IMPORTANT AS GENGHIS KHAN AND KEANU REEVES AND FORTUNATELY IT'S NOT A CREDIT CARD OFFER WHEN YOU GET THERE BECAUSE YOU LIKE JAMAICAN HOLIDAY PARTIES AND YOU HAVE TO BE CAREFUL THAT THE FEDEX PERSON DOESN'T TELL YOU IN ADVANCE WHAT THE GIFT IT BECAUSE SHE CAN TOTALLY RUIN SURPRISES AND YOU WORK HARD FOR THE MONEY AND PEOPLE KNOW IT AND WRITE YOU NOTES TO THAT EFFECT.
Today's Dotman Joke is about Hillary Rodham Obama.
- Dotson Salutes - Tub
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- ▼ April (30)