I was on the Book they call Face yesterday and I came across one of the greatest banner ads of all-time.
It looked like this---
At first I was all like, "Hey! It's Philip Seymour Hoffman's Dad! I've always wanted to talk to him and now here's my chance!"
Then I realized that I CAN'T talk to him because I'm not 26 and I don't need money.
Why do 26 year-olds who need money get to have all the fun? I'd like to get in Philip Seymour Hoffman's Dad's pants, too. But I don't get to because I'm not the appropriate age. God damn this government and it's narrow effing age restrictions. I am an INDIVIDUAL! You hear me, government??? I can not be categorized like an effin' sheep. I want to have sex with Philip Seymour Hoffman's Dad and believe you me, I will find a way.
And while P.S.H.'s Dad is busy showing me how to make $1000 a day, I'm going to be showering him with PASSION!!!!!
Passion looks like this---
ON THIS GREAT DAY, JULY 16, 2008, DOTSON SALUTES PHILIP SEYMOUR HOFFMAN'S DAD FOR BEING IN A BANNER AD ON FACEBOOK, FOR WANTING TO HELP 26 YEAR-OLDS GET MONEY, FOR BEING A PERSON THAT I WANT TO BANG IMMENSELY, AND FOR BEING A PERSON WHO I WILL GET INTO THE PANTS OF REGARDLESS OF GOVERNMENT AGE RESTRICTIONS AND I WILL SHOWER HIM WITH PASSION AND WE ALL KNOW WHAT PASSION LOOKS LIKE!
It looks like this---
ALSO!!! Remember how in a blog a while back I wrote that it's very possible I was George Bernard Shaw in a previous life?
Well, thanks to YouTunes, I was able to unearth this video of George Bernard Shaw from 1994 and tell me, just TELL ME if you don't think that he and I walk the same!
Never seen me walk before???? Neither have you!!!!!
But Passion HAS!!!
- Dotson Salutes - Condom-Con
- Dotson Salutes - Mickey's Space Ship Shuttle
- Dotson Salutes - Nick Mahorn
- Dotson Salutes - Every David Bowie song except "Yo...
- Dotson Salutes - Getting blood drawn up the butt.
- Dotson Salutes - Norman Bates
- Dotson Salutes - David Lynch's Autograph
- Dotson Salutes - Heath Ledger's Spirit
- Dotson Salutes - The "Heathcliff" Theme Song
- Dotson Salutes - Not giving the fucks the satisfac...
- Dotson Salutes - Philip Seymour Hoffman's Dad
- Dotson Salutes - Chan Poling
- Dotson Salutes - Returning Unwatched Netflix
- Dotson Salutes - TheWereWolfkid
- Dotson Salutes - The fact that I'm still rocking N...
- Dotson Salutes - Seeing Shit
- Dotson Salutes - "Bone Me" Island
- ▼ July (17)