Let me tell you what's going on. Last night I pinpointed (That's right! I effin' pinpointed!!!!) what is going on in my head. In fact, I pinpointed what's going on in ALL of our heads!
Basically what's going on is that we are surrounded by spirits. You can call them "ghosts" or whatever you want, but they hover around us at all times. And we can choose to listen to the "good" voices or we can listen to the "bad" voices.
You think I'm nuts? Then you tell ME where thoughts come from, my friend. Science can't tell us that. Rational thought can't tell us that. THOUGHT in general is incredibly limited and can only create bombs and reindeer 'n shit.
So, in summation, thought is very limited and can't tell us where thoughts come from.
Period. End of story.
So last night I pinpointed the source of every feeling of self-doubt, fear, and anxiety I've ever had. They come from a person named "Ed."
How do I know his name is "Ed?" Because I SENSED it.
And let me tell you, Ed is a royal prick.
I wish he was Ed McMachon, but he's not. He's just some ass who has been with me since a very young age. I would guess that he's been with me since 3rd or 4th grade, which is around the same time that I started sucking at baseball.
When I was in 2nd grade I was AWESOME at baseball. But then Ed came along and changed all that.
So basically what's going on here now is that I acknowledge the fact that my thoughts are not "me." The thoughts come from all the spirits that surround me. The thoughts I listen to the most are the ones that you could say make me "me," but they are not "me." Nothing can ever be "me" or "you" or "us." That shit just can not be grasped by thought.
And who says it's supposed to be grasped by us, anyway?
So from here on out, every time a thought pops in my head that makes me feel inadequate or unworthy, I'm going to simply yell out, "Fuck you, ED!" and I don't give a rat's if people DO think I'm crazy. I'd rather be crazy than scared.
Here's a video of me right here with Libra fiancée watching "Saved by the Bell" in the background and me saying, "Fuck you, Ed!"
- ▼ August (9)