Friday, September 5, 2008

Dotson Salutes - Easel Pads


I was at the office store yesterday and you know how they have easel pads?



Well, guess how much they were!



That's right-- $35.99 for two pads!

That's like $24 each!!!!

WTF?

How do they get away with charging so much for that jive? I mean, how much does paper cost?

Like 3 cents?

So you multiply 3 cents times 8 and you get 24 cents!

It costs them 24 cents to make this stuff and then they charge $35.99 for two!

This is worse price poaching than gas and oil. Haliburton ain't got nuthin' on this racket.


However!


In these dark times, there is hope and that hope comes in the form of a new web series starring me and Libra Fiancée. We started a YouTube Page and basically we will crank out these videos from time to time where Libra Fiancée talks about her experiences that day and I nod and say things in response. We promise incredibly shitty picture and sound quality.

Our first ever video was recorded last night. Here it is---



So far we have NINE hits!!! You could be the TENTH viewer!!! Then think of all the sex you'll get!!!!




ON THIS GREAT DAY, SEPTEMBER 5, 2008, DOTSON SALUTES EASEL PADS FOR COSTING 24 CENTS TO MAKE AND THEN SELLING TWO-FOR-$35.99 PLUS TAX AND PEOPLE GET UPSET THAT THERE ARE WARS BEING FOUGHT OVER OIL BUT WARS SHOULD REALLY BE FOUGHT OVER EASEL PADS BECAUSE IT'S HURTING THE MIDDLE CLASS THAT THESE COST SO MUCH AND MIDDLE CLASS ARE FAMILIES.

Today the Dotman is in drag.



Chris Dotson

Dotman's Jokes

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Dotson Salutes - "Trail Power®"

Most people don't know that I used to be in the army and that the army taught me to be a team player.



But I don't hold that against people. It's not their job to know that I was in the army.

However, it IS people's job to eat food that makes them feel like they are on crack cocaine. And if you're people and want to do your job, then you need to take off your shirt and eat "Trail Power®."



This might sound like an advertisement, but it is not. This is just a reminder that we need to feel like we are on crack cocaine at all times. Otherwise, what's the point of being an American? Why did I serve my country in the war if you aren't going to throw a bunch of shit in your system that makes you feel like cleaning your house all night long and makes you want to go to the grocery store and buy one of those pre-paid credit cards so that you can charge internet pornography to it without your husband finding out?




"People eating organic superfoods = Happy Veterans"


ON THIS GREAT DAY, SEPTEMBER 4, 2008, DOTSON SALUTES "TRAIL POWER®" AND LAST WEEK I WENT TO A CASINO IN PRIOR LAKE, MINNESOTA AND I PLAYED BLACK JACK AND AT THE END OF THE AFTERNOON I LOST EXACTLY $1.


Today The Dotman takes a stab at doing an impression of actor Haley Joel Osment.





Chris Dotson

Dotman's Jokes

Monday, September 1, 2008

Dotson Salutes - Catching up on Netflix you've had for a long time.

This is the afternoon that I finally watch "Be Kind, Rewind."

It's been sitting on the coffee table for almost 2 months now. Libra Fiancée will no doubt not be pleased to discover that I've watched it without her, but what can you do. I can't let it just sit there any longer.

Earlier this afternoon I looked at an awesome apartment in a shitty neighborhood. There was no off-street parking, either. So I had to let it go. It would have been a great place for me and Libra Fiancée, but neither of us like the idea of her walking through a shitty neighborhood at night because she had to park five blocks away. It doesn't matter that she owns mace or that my sister and her husband recently bought me a knife.



ON THIS GREAT DAY, SEPTEMBER 1, 2008, DOTSON SALUTES CATCHING UP ON NETFLIX YOU'VE HAD FOR A LONG TIME BECAUSE IT'S HIGH TIME YOU WATCHED "BE KIND, REWIND" EVEN IF IT MEANS THAT LIBRA FIANCEE MIGHT GET MAD AT YOU BUT HOPEFULLY YOU CAN DISTRACT HER WITH SOME DELICIOUS FROZEN YOGURT OR ASK HER TO MAKE YOU A MAP BECAUSE MAKING MAPS CAN TAKE A LONG TIME.



It's Labor Day, but that doesn't mean the Dotman is going to take a day off from making horrendous jokes----




Chris Dotson

Dotman's Jokes